Down and Outs of a Single Parent

I am having a bad day, I need to vent, Do not pity me because my life is actually great, I just need to Vent... This happens to me a lot when I feel Human. I was not raised to believe in Faith and to think that everything in life I receive is a result of my dedication and hard work. I have since changed my opinion and know that the things I receive in life are a direct result of my faith and dedication to my faith. I feel that I have been handed test after test and that is just to remind me that I am human. I am a man that has fought hard and strong to gain the ability to raise my children while their mothers are doing other things far away from their children. I say this because I thank God everyday for this great opportunity that most fathers of Divorce do not receive. Yesterday I went to court again for Child Support for my youngest. Again I was told that to make a determination they are going to postpone things for another month. I know the State has a calculation that is required and I know what the mother of my child makes a lot more than I do. Today I am having a hard time remembering that it will all work out in the end. My ex lives with another guy now, her bring home is $5000/month. I know he makes around $4800/month. My Ex is also on TV everyday and out of respect I do not mention who she is or what Network she works for. I told the Court yesterday that I am having a hard time and all I am asking for is half of Daycare = $300/month What really upsets me is She called last night to talk to my daughter and was so cheerful that with this postponement she will go a total of 2 years without paying a dime. She was explaining that she is making a trip to Europe, just bought a 40 inch plasma TV, and is driving a brand new Jeep Wrangler. That doesn't bother me, until I think - Christmas is next month, I can not buy either of my kids anything, My rent check bounced, my car payment is a month behind and my electric company is threatening to turn off my electricity. I was told last night that I need to cut down on some things that are not a necessity so I went though everything- Rent- I have to have a place to live - and it is not nice Electric - I need to have lights - I could live with candles Food - I can live off of one meal a day - but my kids can't Garbage - Okay I stopped paying that and sneak to a dumpster down the road -shhh!!! Gas - Its getting cold out so I need Heat in the house and I need to use the oven to cook the food Daycare - I need to go to work so I have to have someone to watch the children Telephone - I am court ordered to have a phone so the mother can call my daughter Car - I have to get to work - I owe more than it is worth but I have a for sale sign in it. No Cable, No Internet at home, Don't go out to eat, Entertainment is usually a Dora Video that I have had for years, Barbie book, or movie from the Library. I do not see any wants that I can cut back on... The Dru Story - coming soon to a blog near you...