Always Exciting in Dru's World

I want to make an announcement for all of those that have been kind enough to actually look at this blog for the past few months when I have been to busy to post any new news. Please check out http://babydru.blogspot.com/ Thanks DruU

Daughter's First Breakup1

According to my daughter a long term relationship in her school is approximatly one month. I remember those days. I honestly believe that the only reason this break up affected my daughter so much was the situation. The other day I left work early again and made it to the school so I could pick her up before she got on the bus. As I stood infront of the office looking over this wave of short people I noticed my daughter (she is one of the tallest in her school). She was walking towards me with her eyes firmly planted on the ground. Her best friend was walking beside her with the look of concern. My daughter looked up and greeted me with a painful smile. As we walked to the car I asked her what happened at school. Of course I got the mechanical response, "nothin'" "Then what's wrong?" "Tony Dumped me." she said with a crack in her voice that told me she was about to cry. I knew then my busy plans for that night were changed. The car ride was quiet, she didn't speak. Then she noticed that I turned the wrong way, "where are we going. "You'll see, you need some breakup medication." We pulled up in front of a Mom & Pop shop in the tiny town next to ours. We walked in and she actually started to look around for the medicine ilse. I said, "its back here." We walked into the back where there is an old counter sat on stools and I looked at the man behind the counter. "Two Chocolate shakes, bad break up moment." The man gave a little smirk and went to the back kitchen. When he returned he handed the largest milk shake I have ever seen to my daughter and said, "it heals the heart" then placed a small Milkshake in front of me and said, "the large is on the house." Although my daughter has never been to this place I am there every morning on my way to work. Bobby, the man behind the counter, has heard about my daughter almost every week day for the past 6 months. After a couple of ice cold sips my daughter told me a tragic story of pain, suffering and betrayal. I sat there listening and secretly thought, "boy are horrible creatures, but girls are just down right mean." I will have to explain this whole story someday but as for now it has snowballed into splitting a school in half and two fathers getting called to the Principals office. The good news, after my daughter finished her milk shake and told me this horrible story, she got up with a huge smile gave me a hug and said, "I am so glad you will let me talk to you about this."

Daughter's first Boyfriend

Friday my daughter stayed after school since the school was showing a movie. She is in Middle School and she has been growing up way to fast this year. I left work early and decided it would be fun to go pick her up and then go out for an Ice Cream cone before we picked up her little sister from Day Care. I make sure that there are those little moments that the two of us can sit down and talk without the interruption of her 3 year old sister looking for my attention. So I walk into the Auditorium and look among the mass of 11-14 year old in this huge room. I couldn't see he and thought it was no big deal (there were a lot of kids) Then my eye caught her best friend. She was sitting just a few rows in front of me and was with a big crowd of kids joking and having fun, they definitely didn't care if there was a movie there. I scanned the smaller group and sure enough there was still no sign of my daughter. Then I did a double take, there she was, right next to her best friend. She has a favorite sweatshirt, or Hoody I think they call them, she always wears it. There it was, how could I miss her? Well this whole time I was looking for this beautiful young girl with 2 arms and 1 head, I was not looking for the kid with one head on someone else's shoulder. I was not looking for a boy with his arm around my daughter. I was not looking for this boy that was holding my daughter like she was the most valuable possession he has owned. I will admit at first my blood was boiling over, I could not believe what I was seeing, then the humor set in. I know none of her friends saw me so I grabbed my camera phone and tried to sneak up a little closer. It was to dark I had this image of snapping a picture of this and sending it to every relative we have. I just couldn't get the picture, well here I was standing right behind one of her friends that was right behind my daughter, look there, its an empty seat. I quickly tapped her friend on the shoulder and gave her the signal to be quiet. Sat down next to her and started watching the movie. Her friend leaned over and whispered, "Tony asked her out today." I quickly responded, "I see that," with a little grin on my face. I was sitting there in this group of my daughters friends trying to think of something that I could do to embarrass her. I could have thought all day long and I would have never came up with something good enough. So I leaned over to her friend and said, "just tell her I will be up there waiting." On my way up towards the school lobby one of my daughters teachers stopped me. so I sat there and talked with him for a few minutes and was taking glimpses of my daughter and her new boyfriend. Then all of a sudden it felt like I was jumped on by a Linebacker in the Super Bowl. It was my daughter, I guess she noticed I was there. She jumped on me and wrapped her arms around me and said, "Tony asked me out." Of course I had the same reply, "I noticed, and again I had this grin. At this time I looked at where my daughter was sitting and I see this 13 year old boy sneaking away very quickly. After telling my daughter I was waiting until the movie was over and then I would take her home, she gave me another hug and then went to sit down again. "Wow, not to many daughters would be excited to tell their father they have a new boyfriend," her teacher said to me. "Yeah, I know" I said as I thought about every major milestone I have seen her go though, and realized this was the next one.

How to Become a Single Father

I remeber before my world travels began sitting at the local coffee shop with a friend gettin my dose of caffine before going to babysit my neice. Although I was still in my teens I never had enough energy to chase a two year old girl around the house. My brother was proudly wearing the military uniform at the time sitting somewhere in Asia so I felt it was my responsiblity to babysit his daughter so her mother could have an adult conversation every once in awhile. My friend was getting his caffine fix so he could go to the rock quarry over the border in Pennsylvania. "That sucks you have to babysit, this is going to be the party of the year." "I don't mind, Deb is going to come over after Tiny T is asleep." Tina was my brother Tony's daughter, for some reason my family was always called by initials, I don't even think my best friend even knew the name my parents gave me untill the year after graduation. "Aww, how sweet," the sarcastic jeer that I was expecting came a little slower than I was actually thinking it would, the caffine probably did't hit Brian yet. "Are you and Deb going to play house tonight?" "If I am lucky we will have a good time." Being a seventeen year old boy was difficult enough but throw in the fact that I spent the only Friday night off babysitting my neice really took a notch out of my social standing. No one cared of course when I usually did this because I usually got paid a case of beer that we would drink on Saturday. "Dude, you are going to be a perfect parent someday." "My goal in life is to raise my children. Unfortunatly that means I will have to put up with a woman all the time." Everyone I knew understood that I loved hanging out with kids. Mainly because I never wanted to grow up and always liked having an excuse to go see the newest childrens movie at the theater. It was creapy if I said, "hey Deb you want to go see The Little Mermaid?" I would never get a weird look if I said, "I want to take my neice to see "The Lion King" you want to go?" I was a Senior in High School and spent half my school day doing my practical at the Elementary school next door. I was already excepted into college for early childhood education. Whenever I wasn't in school or working I usually had my neice with me.

After a couple more cups of coffee I said bye to my friend and headed to my babysitting duties. This was soon going to be a night that I would never forget.

Discrimination against the Single Father

I think women should have the same opportunities as men, Raising two daughters I have come to the belief that women are smarter and more able at a lot of things than men. I also believe that men should have the same opportunities as women, Children raised by a man should be treated the same as children treated as women. I recently went to court the other day for Child Support, Again... It has now been 18 months since I was granted custody of my youngest daughter. We have Joint Custody with Primary Physical custody awarded to me. Since there are 4 states between us there is no everyother weekend visitation it all goes off of seperating holidays and school vacation. 18 months without child support, 18 months of paying for a 3 bedroom apartment so each of my daughters has their own personnal space. 18 months of $700 per month in Pre School and Daycare tuitions = Thats $12600... For Court we both had to do Financial Paperwork and according to that and research of how the state figures out child support I have come up with the figure that she should be paying is $1200/month. I am asking the court to provide me Child Support of $1000 per month to help cover Daycare, Preschool, gymnastics and Figureskating costs. I have been turned down four times. Well I will take that back. I haven't been turned down, I have been told that we need to pospone another month for the past 5 months. Will I ever get child support? The Ex-wifes lawyer is good at one thing, posponements. I have been told, She should not have to pay since she lives so far away and she has to pay phone bills, and travel costs to see her daughter. My answer, She is the one that moved so far away. I have been called a loser because I am trying to take money from a woman and a man should be able to make enough to provide all the great things a child needs. This last time, her lawyer actually got up in court and said that I do not deserve this money because I should be able to get a higher paying job as an Information Technology Professional. My answer to this, She is on TV every night working for a major network, She will make a lot more than me. I might get offers making almost 2 times what I make now but those would cause me to travel, move or work very long hours. I work 80 hours every 2 weeks, that is it, no more no matter what. To me that is neccesity so I have all that off time to spend with my daughters. The latest job I was offered was 3 times what I make now but it would have made me move to New York City, at least 50 hours a week and on average 6-10 days a month out of town. Now either way, I am a parent of a little girl that wants to learn Figure Skating, I had to pull her out of the classes so I could pay my electric bill. I am a parent and I make all my decisions 100% with my daughters in mind. I do not deserve to get child support because I am a father? When you go to family court it is usually very stressful anyway. When you go as a father you are the most sterotypical, Dead beat, tempermental, abusive man that anyone has met. Getting custody is a major accomplishment and you can tell a lot about a mother if the court grants custody to the father, look at Britney. But as soon as the custody is over you are back in the courts eyes for a worthless loser that just wants to screw the ex-wife over. Why don't women have to pay child support?

Dead Beat Parents

Another Holiday season come and gone. Another gift giving time where my daughter axiously awaits the package that her mother promised and another disappointing time for my daughter. "Maybe it is lost in the mail" "Maybe she couldn't send it because she had to much school work." "Maybe she couldn't afford to send it, she does have 2 other children dad" These are the reasons she has come up with this year. 10 years of this crap and I can not understand how this girl can sit here and wait time and time again. No phone call, no card, nothing... I found her mother on myspace, what a wonderful sight. A woman with a child she has seen 2 times in the past 10 years. Two children with her current husband that is serving in Iraq and here is her Myspace. The Profile picture, her making out with a guy on the couch. You would think it would be a picture of the husband that is serving the country in Iraq, YOU WOULD BE WRONG!!! This is some 20 year old guy who in her words, "Would give up everything to have more babies with." Why does my daughter have such an image of this woman? How I wish I could show these pictures to my daughter and say, "This is the woman that gave birth to you, do not think she is the perfect woman." I vowed the day the divorce was final that I would never talk bad about the mother of my child, I would never hurt the image of this woman that gave birth to my beautiful daughter. Why is this woman making it so hard for me to keep this promise? Please help me figure out what to do? Please let me hear your story about the dead beat parent in your childrens lives. Let me know I am not the only one out there that has these issues with the egg/sperm donor in your childrens lives.

The Smoking Challenge

Sometimes I am just amazed at my oldest daughter. One of the gifts I received this year might be the most thoughtful gift I have ever recieved. My daughter is now 11 and of course in school she has learned how bad smoking is to you and the dangers of smoking. I am not sure how she came up with this stuff but when I was opening presents this year for Christmas she had wraped a package and what was inside made me feel a lot of emotions. All at once I felt happiness, love, pride, and most of all Fear. She had made this present from her heart that was for sure and the first thing I saw was a note,

Dad, I love you but this present is for your daughters.

So I continued on though a small package. The next thing I saw in the package was a Contract already signed by my Oldest Daughter and a Scribble Mark from my youngest. There was a space on the contract for me to sign. This Contract said that I would try to quit smoking on Monday, January 7, 2008. On this day I will allow my daughter to throw away all my cigarettes, Lighters, Ashtrays and anything else she believes causes me to smoke.

After I read though it I noticed that there was a pen in this little package and some 3x5 cards. There were little things on the cards that my daughter wrote. "Dad, I want you to see me Graduate from High School." and "'Dad, I want you to see me go to my Prom.' 'Dad, I want you to see me get married.' 'Dad, I want my children to know you.' 'Dad, we Love you.'"

This brought the tears, I quickly grabbed the pen and signed the contract. I am looking forward to January 7th, 2008. I feel it is going to be a great year.

I wonder if she read this Blog!

Momma's Boy, Insult?

Post Moved To http://druutopia.com/Joomla/content/view/12/1/

The Right Team

I am in the Process of buying my first home, yes very scary. I am looking for a place in the same school district that I currently live but I want property that I can call my own. Although I know that there is the fact that after I buy this property the Bank will own it for 30 years but hey the Mortgage will be in my name. The most discouraging thing that happened to me though this whole process that I went though to get my First House. I have dealt with 4 different Agents and two Mortgage councelors over the past year. I have been laughed at and I have been reminded that this is a very upscale area of NY. The only houses that I could find were either way beyond my means or unhabitable. I was lucky that when I finally gave up on my dream of being a property owner and looking for a new rental on Craigs List I was greeted by My now Realator Holli Boyd. I explained my issue and she recomended a Mortgage Councelor to find out what my options were. After lots of hours and lots of money for gas she found me a place that I can not wait to move into. Holli understood everything I was going though and her company is very lucky to have her. This may sound like an advertisement for her but I am just so excited that the offer I put on this house is within my ability to pay for it and it has everything that I have been looking for. I just want to say thank you to Holli for the work she has done. Holli Boyd at Keller Williams

What I am Thankful For

I know this is a site with many people that live in other countries but Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I know it is suppose to be a day that I am suppose to say I am Thankful for certain things. This year I could only come up with one thing that made me thankful. This isn't because I am not thankful for everything in my life but because it was what has been on my mind for weeks.My family is HUGE and every year that I can remember dinner was my whole family getting together with my grandparents their kids and my Generation. Last year it was 48 people for dinner. This year there were a couple of weddings and a few more births. We were expecting 57 for dinner. Only 53 showed up. of course that is my brother which really sucks because I wanted to see him the most.So my daughter asked me what I was thankful for. I could only think of one thing:We are a large family and we just keep getting bigger and bigger. Every year Grandma sits down and we all gather her around and catch up on the past year. I am most thankful that with all that has happened in this family we all still get together and we all still have a good time.I think it is amazing that my Grandmother can actually sit down one day a year and see her 6 children, 16 Grandchildren, and 18 great grand children. This does not include spouces and boy/girlfriends that show up. I told my daughter, "When you and your sister get older, The only thing that I will ever ask for is that at least one day a year I want to sit down to dinner with my Daughters and grand kids and great grand kids." Origional Post Here

Down and Outs of a Single Parent

I am having a bad day, I need to vent, Do not pity me because my life is actually great, I just need to Vent... This happens to me a lot when I feel Human. I was not raised to believe in Faith and to think that everything in life I receive is a result of my dedication and hard work. I have since changed my opinion and know that the things I receive in life are a direct result of my faith and dedication to my faith. I feel that I have been handed test after test and that is just to remind me that I am human. I am a man that has fought hard and strong to gain the ability to raise my children while their mothers are doing other things far away from their children. I say this because I thank God everyday for this great opportunity that most fathers of Divorce do not receive. Yesterday I went to court again for Child Support for my youngest. Again I was told that to make a determination they are going to postpone things for another month. I know the State has a calculation that is required and I know what the mother of my child makes a lot more than I do. Today I am having a hard time remembering that it will all work out in the end. My ex lives with another guy now, her bring home is $5000/month. I know he makes around $4800/month. My Ex is also on TV everyday and out of respect I do not mention who she is or what Network she works for. I told the Court yesterday that I am having a hard time and all I am asking for is half of Daycare = $300/month What really upsets me is She called last night to talk to my daughter and was so cheerful that with this postponement she will go a total of 2 years without paying a dime. She was explaining that she is making a trip to Europe, just bought a 40 inch plasma TV, and is driving a brand new Jeep Wrangler. That doesn't bother me, until I think - Christmas is next month, I can not buy either of my kids anything, My rent check bounced, my car payment is a month behind and my electric company is threatening to turn off my electricity. I was told last night that I need to cut down on some things that are not a necessity so I went though everything- Rent- I have to have a place to live - and it is not nice Electric - I need to have lights - I could live with candles Food - I can live off of one meal a day - but my kids can't Garbage - Okay I stopped paying that and sneak to a dumpster down the road -shhh!!! Gas - Its getting cold out so I need Heat in the house and I need to use the oven to cook the food Daycare - I need to go to work so I have to have someone to watch the children Telephone - I am court ordered to have a phone so the mother can call my daughter Car - I have to get to work - I owe more than it is worth but I have a for sale sign in it. No Cable, No Internet at home, Don't go out to eat, Entertainment is usually a Dora Video that I have had for years, Barbie book, or movie from the Library. I do not see any wants that I can cut back on... The Dru Story - coming soon to a blog near you...

Which provides for a better camping experience: RVs or tent-camping?

Yes I definitely have to put my 2 cents on this one. I love camping and will continue to camp because of the memories I have of my childhood and the memories I want for my children. When I was growing up I had camping experiences with both of my parents in an RV, after they were divorced my father continued with the annual camping trip but we were using Tents and sleeping bags. I think of the memories I have of camping and remember before the divorce there is only one trip in the RV that can be recalled. This was the camping trip that was in California and we had to run into the RV and hide from a Bear that really enjoyed our popcorn that we were all sharing. Unfortunately, that is the only camping trip I remember from the RV era and that is the only part of the trip I remember. Then I sit back and think of all the times that me and my brother would slip out of the Tent in the post divorce camping trips and rub a branch against dads tent to see him run out to investigate to find his two sons laughing in the dirt. I can recall many times trying to hang a flashlight in the tent during a rain storm so we can all fit in the tent and see the cards that we were playing. I think that is the only time during Summer Vacation that me and my brother would wake up before the sun came up to get out fishing. I now realize while writing this that those were the only times that me, my brother and my father would stay together 24 hours a day without getting on each others nerves. Although I started writing this expecting to start saying things like, "save the environment" and "gas is too expensive" I now realize that if my father was able to keep the RV we would have watched TV, listened to Music, and ignored each other just like when we were home. With out those luxuries we were forced to spend time talking, playing games and enjoying each others company. It might have been hard for us to keep the Tent from smelling bad or keep our clothes dry the whole trip but believe me the relationship between the three of us is what came out of the tent and it has stayed strong even though we have not made that trip in 15 years. Now that states seperate all of us there are still times that I will sit there and enjoy the memories of our camping experiences and it always puts a smile on my face.

Cinderella's Dad?

Everyone knows the story of Cinderella. There are a few things about the story that I would like clarification on. 1. What happened to Cinderella's Father? I know he died, but how? 2. Do you think her father knew what Cinderella's step mother was really like? 3. Do you think her father treated her better than her step sister's? These are very important questions in the story. How manipulative was her step mother? Was she actually able to hide her hate from her husband? Was Cinderella's father a good father and protect his daughter? Was he able to show love to the children in his family that were not his blood? makes you wonder...

Fear of a Dad

Last night I got home after work and my daughter ran to me and gave me a Huge Hug. This is normal but she held on a little longer this time. I said, "How was school." To make a long story short she said School was good, until the bus ride home. The School district is pretty far out in the country and she takes an hour bus ride each way. Because of this Middle School and High School share a bus. My daughter does have enough Common sense to let the High Schoolers sit in the back and her and her friends sit in the front. Well yesterday the Bus was full and she was unable to sit in the front. Her and her best friend had to sit in the back of the bus with the high schoolers. This is pretty scary to a 6th grader to begin with. I guess what happened next would have scared any woman and make any father ready to put a fist in a teenagers face. There were two high school boys on the bus in the seat infront of them. One of them pulled out a package of Condoms. Started Asking my daughter and friend if they knew what they were. So of course being that they are getting taught about Condoms in school they said yes. Well I guess one of the boys said, "Well, we use them for when we **** 6th graders on the back of the bus." Needless to say the two girls were sitting there scared to death for the whole hour of the bus ride. Scared to say anything and scared to move. I swear I am so ****ing pissed right now I am in the mood to torture these two boys. Of course trying to be the Adult that I am I have called the Principal of my daughters school, the principal of the High School and the Manager of the Bus Garage. They now know the boys names and will call me when they decide what they are going to do... I just want them in a room with my Daughters friends Father (Stereotypical Harley Davidson Rider, Don't think he owns clothes that aren't Leather) Just so we can put the fear in them that they put in our daughters.