Always Exciting in Dru's World

I want to make an announcement for all of those that have been kind enough to actually look at this blog for the past few months when I have been to busy to post any new news. Please check out http://babydru.blogspot.com/ Thanks DruU

Daughter's First Breakup1

According to my daughter a long term relationship in her school is approximatly one month. I remember those days. I honestly believe that the only reason this break up affected my daughter so much was the situation. The other day I left work early again and made it to the school so I could pick her up before she got on the bus. As I stood infront of the office looking over this wave of short people I noticed my daughter (she is one of the tallest in her school). She was walking towards me with her eyes firmly planted on the ground. Her best friend was walking beside her with the look of concern. My daughter looked up and greeted me with a painful smile. As we walked to the car I asked her what happened at school. Of course I got the mechanical response, "nothin'" "Then what's wrong?" "Tony Dumped me." she said with a crack in her voice that told me she was about to cry. I knew then my busy plans for that night were changed. The car ride was quiet, she didn't speak. Then she noticed that I turned the wrong way, "where are we going. "You'll see, you need some breakup medication." We pulled up in front of a Mom & Pop shop in the tiny town next to ours. We walked in and she actually started to look around for the medicine ilse. I said, "its back here." We walked into the back where there is an old counter sat on stools and I looked at the man behind the counter. "Two Chocolate shakes, bad break up moment." The man gave a little smirk and went to the back kitchen. When he returned he handed the largest milk shake I have ever seen to my daughter and said, "it heals the heart" then placed a small Milkshake in front of me and said, "the large is on the house." Although my daughter has never been to this place I am there every morning on my way to work. Bobby, the man behind the counter, has heard about my daughter almost every week day for the past 6 months. After a couple of ice cold sips my daughter told me a tragic story of pain, suffering and betrayal. I sat there listening and secretly thought, "boy are horrible creatures, but girls are just down right mean." I will have to explain this whole story someday but as for now it has snowballed into splitting a school in half and two fathers getting called to the Principals office. The good news, after my daughter finished her milk shake and told me this horrible story, she got up with a huge smile gave me a hug and said, "I am so glad you will let me talk to you about this."

Daughter's first Boyfriend

Friday my daughter stayed after school since the school was showing a movie. She is in Middle School and she has been growing up way to fast this year. I left work early and decided it would be fun to go pick her up and then go out for an Ice Cream cone before we picked up her little sister from Day Care. I make sure that there are those little moments that the two of us can sit down and talk without the interruption of her 3 year old sister looking for my attention. So I walk into the Auditorium and look among the mass of 11-14 year old in this huge room. I couldn't see he and thought it was no big deal (there were a lot of kids) Then my eye caught her best friend. She was sitting just a few rows in front of me and was with a big crowd of kids joking and having fun, they definitely didn't care if there was a movie there. I scanned the smaller group and sure enough there was still no sign of my daughter. Then I did a double take, there she was, right next to her best friend. She has a favorite sweatshirt, or Hoody I think they call them, she always wears it. There it was, how could I miss her? Well this whole time I was looking for this beautiful young girl with 2 arms and 1 head, I was not looking for the kid with one head on someone else's shoulder. I was not looking for a boy with his arm around my daughter. I was not looking for this boy that was holding my daughter like she was the most valuable possession he has owned. I will admit at first my blood was boiling over, I could not believe what I was seeing, then the humor set in. I know none of her friends saw me so I grabbed my camera phone and tried to sneak up a little closer. It was to dark I had this image of snapping a picture of this and sending it to every relative we have. I just couldn't get the picture, well here I was standing right behind one of her friends that was right behind my daughter, look there, its an empty seat. I quickly tapped her friend on the shoulder and gave her the signal to be quiet. Sat down next to her and started watching the movie. Her friend leaned over and whispered, "Tony asked her out today." I quickly responded, "I see that," with a little grin on my face. I was sitting there in this group of my daughters friends trying to think of something that I could do to embarrass her. I could have thought all day long and I would have never came up with something good enough. So I leaned over to her friend and said, "just tell her I will be up there waiting." On my way up towards the school lobby one of my daughters teachers stopped me. so I sat there and talked with him for a few minutes and was taking glimpses of my daughter and her new boyfriend. Then all of a sudden it felt like I was jumped on by a Linebacker in the Super Bowl. It was my daughter, I guess she noticed I was there. She jumped on me and wrapped her arms around me and said, "Tony asked me out." Of course I had the same reply, "I noticed, and again I had this grin. At this time I looked at where my daughter was sitting and I see this 13 year old boy sneaking away very quickly. After telling my daughter I was waiting until the movie was over and then I would take her home, she gave me another hug and then went to sit down again. "Wow, not to many daughters would be excited to tell their father they have a new boyfriend," her teacher said to me. "Yeah, I know" I said as I thought about every major milestone I have seen her go though, and realized this was the next one.

The Sun will be out Tomorrow, Tomorrow...

I actually had to leave my Cubicle this morning, I usually only do that to get Coffee or to get rid of the used Coffee ;) I am sitting at my desk and all of a sudden this bright light started to make it really hard to see my Computer Monitor, I had to get up and investigate. I looked and it was coming from the window on the other side of the room, As I walked around the Seas of Cubes in the office I noticed that it was actually coming from outside the window, it was the sun. My friend is coming back from his long journey around the world, I have been coming into work in the dark and have been going home in the dark I forgot what it was like to feel the warmth of my friend looking down at me. I hope he will stick around for awhile. This actually reminded me of one of my favorite blogs by a guy in Northern Norway He still has a few days till the big guy shines down on him.

Discrimination against the Single Father

I think women should have the same opportunities as men, Raising two daughters I have come to the belief that women are smarter and more able at a lot of things than men. I also believe that men should have the same opportunities as women, Children raised by a man should be treated the same as children treated as women. I recently went to court the other day for Child Support, Again... It has now been 18 months since I was granted custody of my youngest daughter. We have Joint Custody with Primary Physical custody awarded to me. Since there are 4 states between us there is no everyother weekend visitation it all goes off of seperating holidays and school vacation. 18 months without child support, 18 months of paying for a 3 bedroom apartment so each of my daughters has their own personnal space. 18 months of $700 per month in Pre School and Daycare tuitions = Thats $12600... For Court we both had to do Financial Paperwork and according to that and research of how the state figures out child support I have come up with the figure that she should be paying is $1200/month. I am asking the court to provide me Child Support of $1000 per month to help cover Daycare, Preschool, gymnastics and Figureskating costs. I have been turned down four times. Well I will take that back. I haven't been turned down, I have been told that we need to pospone another month for the past 5 months. Will I ever get child support? The Ex-wifes lawyer is good at one thing, posponements. I have been told, She should not have to pay since she lives so far away and she has to pay phone bills, and travel costs to see her daughter. My answer, She is the one that moved so far away. I have been called a loser because I am trying to take money from a woman and a man should be able to make enough to provide all the great things a child needs. This last time, her lawyer actually got up in court and said that I do not deserve this money because I should be able to get a higher paying job as an Information Technology Professional. My answer to this, She is on TV every night working for a major network, She will make a lot more than me. I might get offers making almost 2 times what I make now but those would cause me to travel, move or work very long hours. I work 80 hours every 2 weeks, that is it, no more no matter what. To me that is neccesity so I have all that off time to spend with my daughters. The latest job I was offered was 3 times what I make now but it would have made me move to New York City, at least 50 hours a week and on average 6-10 days a month out of town. Now either way, I am a parent of a little girl that wants to learn Figure Skating, I had to pull her out of the classes so I could pay my electric bill. I am a parent and I make all my decisions 100% with my daughters in mind. I do not deserve to get child support because I am a father? When you go to family court it is usually very stressful anyway. When you go as a father you are the most sterotypical, Dead beat, tempermental, abusive man that anyone has met. Getting custody is a major accomplishment and you can tell a lot about a mother if the court grants custody to the father, look at Britney. But as soon as the custody is over you are back in the courts eyes for a worthless loser that just wants to screw the ex-wife over. Why don't women have to pay child support?

Regrets, None Here

There are so many times that I am asked if I regret things I have done in the past. I can honestly say that I have no regrets. But then I look at my life and think of all the little moments that were life changing for me. I think of the moments that looking back at them would have changed who I am now and what I have become. One of my favorite movies of all times is Star Wars, think about how that Trilogy would have turned out if Luke didn't make the decision to take the tracking devise off R2-D2. How about if Uncle Owen decided not to take C3PO and R2-D2 from the Jawa's. Would Luke ever have met Obi Won Kenobe? Would Uncle Owen have ever let Luke join the Academy? The story would have been a lot different. When I look back at my life and think about the little choices I have made that would have made my life completly different. How could I regret any of my choices? I can think of more little situations that have led me down the path I have taken. There are countless times where people have said to me that I am making a wrong choice, there are times I can remember that even I think I have made the wrong choice. Whenever someone asks me if I have any regrets all I can think saying is, "none, I am happy with who I have become." Then I think about Star Wars with another view, how many situations in life have really made me who I am but have never had any input from me? How many other people could have changed my life story by making a different decision? What would have happened to the story if the Storm Troopers forgot to switch their weapons to stun before they shot Princess Leia? How about if we heard, "there are no life forms, shoot it down for practice." when R2-D2 and C3PO were in the escape pod on the way to Tatoine? That changes a lot of things, when someone asks me if I have any regrets, I am happy with the decisions I have made, but maybe there are some people that have regrets because of the way my life has turned out. So from now on my answer to the question, do I have any regrets? is going to have to be, "No, I am happy. Does that make you regret anything?"

Dead Beat Parents

Another Holiday season come and gone. Another gift giving time where my daughter axiously awaits the package that her mother promised and another disappointing time for my daughter. "Maybe it is lost in the mail" "Maybe she couldn't send it because she had to much school work." "Maybe she couldn't afford to send it, she does have 2 other children dad" These are the reasons she has come up with this year. 10 years of this crap and I can not understand how this girl can sit here and wait time and time again. No phone call, no card, nothing... I found her mother on myspace, what a wonderful sight. A woman with a child she has seen 2 times in the past 10 years. Two children with her current husband that is serving in Iraq and here is her Myspace. The Profile picture, her making out with a guy on the couch. You would think it would be a picture of the husband that is serving the country in Iraq, YOU WOULD BE WRONG!!! This is some 20 year old guy who in her words, "Would give up everything to have more babies with." Why does my daughter have such an image of this woman? How I wish I could show these pictures to my daughter and say, "This is the woman that gave birth to you, do not think she is the perfect woman." I vowed the day the divorce was final that I would never talk bad about the mother of my child, I would never hurt the image of this woman that gave birth to my beautiful daughter. Why is this woman making it so hard for me to keep this promise? Please help me figure out what to do? Please let me hear your story about the dead beat parent in your childrens lives. Let me know I am not the only one out there that has these issues with the egg/sperm donor in your childrens lives.

A Tattoo to Heal

"I want that one," I said pointing to the perfect image of a Bald Eagle with the full moon behind it. "Where would you like it?" The tattoo artist asked in a bored monotone voice. I could sense the boredom of a man used to new recruits walking in as if they were going to be the next hero a movie would be about. A bunch of kids that barrely had to shave, could not legally go into a bar and order a drinkand have never had the opportunity to vote for the Commander in Cheif that was going to send them to horrors they could not imagine. I was the typical new recruit that left for basic training with the most beautiful girl waiting for my return to have the small wedding in my new uniform. I not only thought I needed to do the ritual tattoo a graduate wanted but I needed some meaning to mine. While I was looking though the abused three ring binder of cookie cutter tattoo's, all I could think about was the letter I received half way though Basic Training. The Letter that made my heart leap and my spirits soar when I saw the beautiful hand writing of my love. "I know this is not easy for you and you are going though a stressful time. I can not imagine how alone you must feel in a place where you know no one. I have been doing a lot of thinking this past month and realize that I want to enjoy my first year of college and not worry about being a wife. I want to see you before you leave the country but I can only see you as a friend. I am sorry." I had full intentions of a tattoo that showed my torment, maybe a heart that was getting torn like a piece of paper, or a boot squashing the life out of a heart. I then saw this Eagle which to me was a symbol of America, a symbol of strenght, power and most of all wisdom. A moon, a huge mass that lost a part at every rotation, the look of damage every time it passed by, but a mass that always regenerated and you could count on seeing whole again. The combination of the two symbols made a symbol that showed my prayers. The prayer I said every night, "Lord, please give me the strength to heal my damaged heart. Give me the wisdom that it will heal. Lord show me that my heart will regenerate like the moon so easily does. Lord let me survive and learn from this pain." "So, where do you want it," the impatient artist asked once again. "Above my heart," I said with the air of confidence I have not felt since I opened that envelope.

The Smoking Challenge

Sometimes I am just amazed at my oldest daughter. One of the gifts I received this year might be the most thoughtful gift I have ever recieved. My daughter is now 11 and of course in school she has learned how bad smoking is to you and the dangers of smoking. I am not sure how she came up with this stuff but when I was opening presents this year for Christmas she had wraped a package and what was inside made me feel a lot of emotions. All at once I felt happiness, love, pride, and most of all Fear. She had made this present from her heart that was for sure and the first thing I saw was a note,

Dad, I love you but this present is for your daughters.

So I continued on though a small package. The next thing I saw in the package was a Contract already signed by my Oldest Daughter and a Scribble Mark from my youngest. There was a space on the contract for me to sign. This Contract said that I would try to quit smoking on Monday, January 7, 2008. On this day I will allow my daughter to throw away all my cigarettes, Lighters, Ashtrays and anything else she believes causes me to smoke.

After I read though it I noticed that there was a pen in this little package and some 3x5 cards. There were little things on the cards that my daughter wrote. "Dad, I want you to see me Graduate from High School." and "'Dad, I want you to see me go to my Prom.' 'Dad, I want you to see me get married.' 'Dad, I want my children to know you.' 'Dad, we Love you.'"

This brought the tears, I quickly grabbed the pen and signed the contract. I am looking forward to January 7th, 2008. I feel it is going to be a great year.

I wonder if she read this Blog!

Dru the Early Years

After getting a chance to talk to my Elementary School Best friend this weekend my mind started bringing up a lot of memories of my childhood. One of the conversations that we had was about our adventures. We lived in a development of boxes that all looked the same just different colors. I am sure if I was to look at it now from an adult view I would see the robotic view of parents leaving in the morning and parents coming home at night. I am sure that the most interesting thing that my parents ever saw while living in one of those dupicate development houses is the time the house about a mile away blew up and we could see it from the porch. But as a child in that neighbor hood it was adventure after adventure. We were discussing this weekend the long trips into other worlds that we would see without a thought to the rest of the world. It didn't matter if it was sitting in the tree in the back yard or if we followed "Rock Cliff" then passed "Root 2 Path" for hours and ended up in the middle of a forest that to us was a aventureland that know explorers have ever seen before. But looking back now it is hard to believe that this small amount of land that was surrounded by these duplicate houses held so much potential for excitement. Although over 20 years have gone by since the last time I explored that area I can garuntee that me and my child hood friends have seen more in those woods than anyone else has since. I actually can close my eyes and take a tour of this land that was our home. from the "Gateway" across the street to the cliff on the other side. There were 4 of us that traveled that land with nothing more than an imagination and a pair of shoes. but as soon as we would leave JD's backyard and cross though the gateway we were all alone in the world. There were terrifying slips on the rock cliff there were times we just couldn't climb the mud on the step trail. These were the moments that team work was important. We had our own little aspect in the group that would assist each other though the bad times. The Brains that would provide a plan for any situation. The Conscience that would not allow us to do the completely stupid and kept us from getting into trouble. The Brawn that could muscle the team though it all. The Leader, the one that would come up with the great ideas of where to go and we would follow for days if we had to. The four of us had the perfect team, everyone had their part but we all had the one common factor that made the team work, We all loved to explore.

Entertainment for All

I have been told by many friends and family lately that I need to write a book. I have seen a lot and dealt with a lot in my life that I guess is very entertaining to others. I have a hard time understanding why but then I read an article about Briteny Spears getting drug tests on her sons to prove that He Ex is smoking Marijuana around them. I guess since that is headline news for the rest of the country my life could be considered entertaining. I am not confident that I can do this story of Dru any justice at the moment since my writing skill are not that great and I am kind of Biased on most topics about my life. There is one thing though my stories that I would like to emphasis to my readers. My brother calls me lucky but I call it faith. I understand very little about the world we live in and the universe that this world is a part of. I know that having faith that things will work out usually means it will work out. I am not sure if the paths I have choosen in life were those of faith guiding me or just blind luck but for my sanity at this moment I am going to say it all has to do with faith. I will post soon the first story of Dru... Keep a look out.

The Life Race

I have always been a competative person, thriving on stress and excelling at what I do when there is someone challenging me. I have recently realized that there is no need for someone to challenge me, Life is always in a race with me. You may all realized that I have not posted anything here in awhile and I know you miss me Life caught up and I had to handle those challenges before I relaxed. Of course that is what I love, Life gave me a couple of challenges and I take it in stride. Last week I was invited to sit down with a Senators office to talk to them about an issue that has been pretty important in this state. It was an honor for this Korean War Veteran to not only invite me but to thank me for my service to the country. The whole week before I went there I was of course nervous. I have never been in a situation where I was able to tell people what I think and have them actually listen. But this Senator and his "People" listened and (although they want my vote) they actually seamed like they cared what I thought. I have been invited to speak on the subject at the local University this friday. Stress, Makes me bust my @$$. On top of that I am in the process of buying my first house. I am going to be a land owner. I have never been in one place for more than 4 years and have never had the feeling that I wanted to stay long enough to buy a place. I am really excited about this and look forward to letting my kids decorate their rooms the way they want. So the race goes on but hey, Talking about something that you are pationate about is nothing, and I have a realator that does everything for the house. Why stress? I have also been asked to be the Outreach assistant for this organization and work with other organizations to a common goal. Not enough? I was asked by another organization to build a web pressence for them and help do some online marketing for them. Still not enough... I have been given more duties and taken over another section at work... On top of that... The Good news, I go to court next week... I should get Child support after that.

Stops come quicker than I thought...

First thing I want to say is WOW!!! Special price for single parents... Babysitter for a max of 1.5 hours while I work out. Sign me UP... The YMCA great system. New Building.. Huge Free weight section... Signed up... Now I figured since I got set up on my first stop I would go ahead and start working on my second stop. Lacrosse... Great Game, unfortunately there isn't much demand for it. I have posted a request for any information on an adult league on craigslist.org... Reply already. Not sure how much its going to cost and not sure how competitive it is but hey I am going to call about it tonight. Its for adults but I guess there are some high school kids on it as a request from the highschool coaches. No problem when I played in Europe I played with 12-49 yr olds. it made the game more fun... I just need to make sure that the practice's and game's wont interfere to much with daily life. I am also looking into finding a Girls team that my daughter can play on so I can assist the coaches. BTW... I want to make sure you all know that I am not unhappy I am just realizing that as you get older life goes faster. There have been a lot of, "I will do that when life slows down" moments in my life. My goal is to keep up with life stop waiting for the right moment life is passing me by and I need to move along with it... My friends are great, my family is great, and the community that helps with my kids are great... We will catch up with life and enjoy every moment.

First Stop

I am calling this my first stop. This is not because it is my number one priority. This is just something that I know will keep my stress level down and help me feel good about myself. I will start working out atleast 3 days a week. A couple of years ago I was working out 6 days a week and watching my diet. I loved it... I was so happy all the time... I was never stressed even though this was also the time I had the most stressful job I have ever had. My main goal is to get back into the same routine I had back then but right now I am going to shoot for 3 days a week for the next month and then see how I am managing it to see if I can add another day. First objective... Find a Gym I can afford...

Day to Day

I remeber one year when I was younger I got really upset at my father. I was probably 5 or 6 years old. I asked him one Christmas day, "Dad, when is the next Christmas?" of course he replied, "in one year." Well this made me upset because I remember that the year before we had 2 Christmas'. It was horrible, so much happened in the course of one year back then a year was almost eternity to me. My father actually believed I could wait a whole year for Christmas again. I was thinking about this incident earlier today after thinking about how fast a year goes by now. A lot has happened in the past couple of years and it actually seams like the past 2 years have gone by without me sitting down to relax at all. I have gone from enjoying every moment of life doing the things I love and seeing the people I care about as often as possible. Now, I catch myself saying things like, "I don't have time," a lot more these days. I have gone and stopped going to the gym because I need to rush home after work and make dinner or do laundry or study for a promotion... I can't go to my Uncle's this weekend because I need to catch up on my dusting and vacuum the bedrooms. It finally comes down to the point of Stress and depression. I can not remember the last time I went to the Gym for an hour so I can bust a few sets without worrying about where are the kids and when can I see them. I have not set foot on a Lacrosse field in two years because the games interfere with dishes and bathroom cleaning. I haven't gone out for a beer with the guys because I need to learn this new software. I haven't been to college because I need to study for promotion. I haven't gone for a motorcycle ride because I need to read a story to the kids. This week I realized these are all things that have made me happy in the past. These are the things that made me wake up and say, "I LOVE MY LIFE." With all of this in mind what are we all missing out on in our lifes that will make us happy? What can we do to add these to our schedule? I am going to make a plan to get some of these things in the priority I want them back in my life... This is Dru's Blog